This will sound a little bit weird....but hey help?

it had been 4 months since the break up, and i really hated my ex gf bcz of her attitude, she really pissed me off and i hate the fact that i miss her again and this time its killing me normally i dnt sleep for 48 hrs when i miss her but now it had been 3 days, i srsly dnt want that,i dnt want to miss her i hate her. i started to miss her more and i dnt want that she really destroyed my life, i m having a big fight inside of me between my brain and heart i dnt want to call her and ask how is she, but im forced to do that that by my heart i really missed her,i just want to see if she's ok , i feel sick when i reach bed bcz i knw at that moment that i will start thinking about her and i dnt want that. If she cared shw wudve called y shud i care y? oor if i shouldnt how?? plz help me lol i hate her and no i dnt need a new gf, i had enough of this, a real man doesnt need a grl 2 make him happy