Abandonment problems?

My brother and I was adopted. I was 5 and he was 7 because my real mom and was found to be a unfit mother and my dad was found unfit too. I was taken away from both of them and were abusive. My brother ually abused me from 5 until 16 when I ran away from home. I went to a place called safe place. When I ran away my adoptive parents didn't even come look for me. My parents came to counseling sessions @ safe place The counselor sent us to family court and the juge charged my adoptive parents with neglegence. I asked my adoptive mom why she couldn't love me like my friends and their moms and she said because they had had them and I didn't have you like they had their child (refering to the word birth). I told my adoptive parents that my brother was ually abusing me and the counselor told them to not blame me for the abuse and my dad did!!! I was so hurt. well from there I moved into one of my friends family and my adoptive parents paid them child support untill I was 18 I found out later they just wanted me there for the check and told me once I was 18 that I had to pay them ro live there So I moved in with my teacher in high school and she put me down and said I wasn't smart enough to get into the college I wanted to get into so I moved out and went to college that I want to get into with two of my friends then they wanted to move to another state and I didn't want to so I moved in with a guy from my church he was 17 years older then me and we fell in love and I thought wow I will finally have a family Well he started to get controling and putting his hands on me and taking my money where I couldn't leave if I wanted to. he asked me to get married to me and I said yes because I was afraid if I said no he would kick me out and I would have no place to go and I thought if we got married he would stop controling me and would love me so I married him and I went to a trade school and one of my friends there said I could live with her So I moved out of my husbands house into her house I filed for a divorce...4 months later my instructor @ school told me to meet a guy she said was really nice and that I would like well by that time I had a car and had moved out of my friends house and had a apartment well I met the guy my insructor told me to meet and he was really nice we lived an hour away from each other we drove back and forth to see each other well one day on my way back from his house I got in wreck and this guy totaled my car and left so I filed a hit and run so I lost my car my job and apartment I was so upset so he told me to move in with him and I did I am really happy with him but my situation is I don't like to depend on pple because i am always afraid of someone making me feel unwanted and don't want me anymore. I met my real family and they showed me they didn't much intrest in wanting to meeting me when I did. My boyfriend says he would never kick me out and part of me believes him but with my eperiences you never know...I love him and he loves me he says that he will be my family but part of me has that wall up just incase so I don't get hurt . My question is how do I get past that? i have been in counceling for my brother and my ex husband? I just don't know how to deal with this big void in my life I just don't let many people get close to me anymore!!!!!!